Whelmed

Chastity: "I know that you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?"

Bianca: "I think you can in Europe..."

- From 10 Things I Hate About You

I love that scene from 10 Things I Hate About You - two ditzy rich girls aspiring to a metaphysical conversation. It's hilarious. I always laugh derisively and think they are complete twits.

However...

Yesterday I was reflecting on this present phase of my life - living in Europe - and I was searching for a way to describe how I feel about it. I am living in Siena - one of the most beautiful cities in Italy - and I'm living exactly the life that I want to be living in this moment. I'm studying a language I've always wanted to learn, I'm hanging out with fantastic people, I'm experiencing so many new and foreign things every day. I'm in Italy! I'm not working for six months and I am far away from all the usual stresses and obligations of daily life back home.

I am not bored, scared, sad or "underwhelmed". Nor am I stressed, busy, nervous or "overwhelmed". I feel like I am in a perfectly tranquil state of just being. I feel completely... whelmed.

Oh no! Maybe the air-head was right! Maybe you CAN be whelmed in Europe! It's a whole new experience for me to be quoting a "Bianca", but it's the best way to describe my emotional and mental state right now. I feel just right. Life is good and I'm happy with the choices I have made in order to get here.

It reminds me of another story that struck me once. In the book of Genesis there is a story about Jacob and Esau - two brothers who had a terrible falling out. Jacob ripped off Esau and Esau swore he would kill him if he ever saw him again. Many years down the track, Jacob was forced by circumstances to meet with Esau again, so he sent herds of several kinds of animals as a peace offering prior to their meeting.

When Jacob saw Esau approaching, he bowed seven times as a sign of respect and penitence, but he was surprised by his brother's gracious greeting. Esau embraced him, wept and asked what he meant by sending such an over-the-top gift. Jacob confessed that he was seeking to pacify the anger which he imagined still remained. Then Esau said something that I think is really beautiful (you might think I'm crazy, but try to see what I mean).

Various translations of the bible state it differently, but Genesis 33:9 contains, for me, a beautiful concept. Many versions (e.g. NIV, NLT and the Message) record Esau's response as: "I have plenty" (therefore keep the herds for yourself). However, other versions, like the New King James, translate it like this:

"I have enough".

Not copious and excessive amounts, and not a small amount that he stretched and spread thin in order to get by. No, he was at the right amount of fullness. He had enough. Just enough.

That's how I feel right now.

I have enough.