Autumn Leaves on Skinny Trees

Yes, it’s true, I have been in the U.K. for a couple of weeks now and I have not told you guys anything about it. There are a number of contributing factors to this: busyness, laziness and the logistics of moving to a new place being among them. However, if I’m honest, I guess the primary reason for my silence is that I’ve just been missing Italy too much to concentrate effectively on my new surroundings.

I never expected it would be so hard to leave Siena. I guess I need to cut myself some slack though; I did live there for five months, make some amazing friends, and have the best summer of my life! It was difficult to leave it all behind. Moreover, I don’t yet have a place to really settle into here. The instability makes it easy to look back in the direction of Tuscany where I was comfortable and happy.

Anyway… once I put gothic edifices and fields of poppies and sunflowers out of my head, I was able to see the new type of beauty around me. England’s landscape is rather unique and, I might add, quite beautiful. Since I arrived I’ve been staying in Kent, which is affectionately known as “the garden of England” – and with good reason too. It’s gorgeous.

Little winding laneways enclosed by skinny, tall trees. Vibrant deciduous leaves contrasted against vast green lawns. Tudor and Victorian style houses sprinkled throughout the old streets. Little country churches. Pretty, pruned gardens. Stacks of history.

That’s Kent.

I’ve been staying with some distant relations: a retired couple who are just the best! They have been so good to me and I couldn’t have asked for a better starting point. They have helped to make the settling-in process a little smoother; though I must admit it has been more emotionally draining than I anticipated. There are also SO MANY things to organise to get yourself set up in a new country. I tip my hat – or perhaps it’s more accurate to say, beanie – to anyone who has ever immigrated!!

The other day a friend asked me if I was working yet, or still living “the life”. I said that I planned on living the life until January! Why not! I worked darn hard to save the funds for this period and, I also must mention the generosity of my family and the Australian Taxation Office whose gifts have bolstered the funds!! It’s my birthday tomorrow and my family have definitely given me the best present they could: their support for this little dream of mine. I have wanted to do this European thing since I was thirteen! So, yeah, I guess you can say I’m living the life I want to live. I’ll be sure to be grateful for that every time I see the autumn leaves on the skinny trees.

The Montepulciano Debacle

We set out with the best of intentions.

We set out with the most harmless assumptions.

The Italian public transport system had other plans for us…

My friend Waka and I set out for the nearby bus-stop at 6.30am on a Saturday morning. The plan was: a bus to Piazza del Sale, and a fifteen minute walk to the station from where we would leave for Montepulciano at 7.25am. Seems simple enough, right?

After going one stop too many, we got off and started walking at a leisurely pace toward Siena’s main station as we ostensibly had heaps of time. Suddenly, a thought flashed through my mind: “I haven’t checked the time-table for myself. I’m going on what Waka said two days ago.” Sure enough, when I had a look, the bus was arriving at 7.05am, not 7.25am. We ran! But as it turns out, the bus was late, not us.

We mounted the bus; relieved to be sitting in it after the frenzied half an hour it took us to reach it. Our relief, however, soon turned into stupefied incredulity when the Montepulciano bus stopped right opposite our apartment to pick up passengers. We never needed to go to the station! We laughed, we lamented, we got over it and we did what most people would do on a long bus ride at that hour of the morning: we fell asleep.

“Montepulciano! Montepulciano!” yelled the bus driver.

We hurriedly grabbed our things and alighted from the bus, which stopped outside a bar (for those of you unfamiliar with the Italian bar, it serves quick breakfasts and coffees in the morning). Within a minute of entering the bar it was quickly made known to us that we were not in Montepulciano, but a tiny little town called Buonconvento. What the heck?!!

There were only three possible reasons this could have happened: (1) Waka and I were simultaneously having the same dream about the bus driver’s announcement; (2) the bus driver didn’t have a clue about his own bus route and didn’t know where he was; or (3) he was telling the people getting on from the back where the bus was headed. You choose…

In any case, we were stranded at 8am on a freezing cold day and the next bus was not until 1:50pm. We took on board a few helpful tips from a local street cleaner and saw what there was to see at Buonconvento; that is, all that we could see past the condensation fog produced by our own breathing!

Notwithstanding a mad dash to then catch the bus out of Buonconvento (we were having a meaningful discussion about something and forgot the time!), we did eventually make it to the illusive Montepulciano. BUT when we got there, it was pouring and we were too tired to care. So we had a pisolino (nap) until dinner-time when the most we were up for was a brief evening stroll and food at a nearby restaurant.

It was nice to get back to the hotel and relax after a day dictated by buses. But just when we thought we were free of the public transport tyranny, we realised that there was no bus back to Siena the following day!

Are you getting sick of this story? So were we!

So Sunday morning: An obligatory look around Montepulciano in the pouring rain was followed by a mutual glance between Waka and I that said one thing: “I am so ready to move on.” (That was around 10:30am!).

We were then forced to catch an expensive taxi to Montalcino from where there would be a bus back to Siena. I know you’re thinking we should have checked the Sunday bus schedule previously, but Montepulciano is a much bigger and more touristy town than Montalcino (from where I knew there was a bus) so it didn’t even cross my mind that we could be stranded there!

Okay… so surely that’s it. Surely nothing else could go wrong with the bus? Wrong. We got to Montalcino around noon and found that there was a festival going on. We grabbed some lunch and took in some of the medieval oddities on show while waiting for the 2:48pm bus.

Alas… 3.45pm arrived and we were still peering expectantly up the road in the vain hope that our chariot would arrive. No dice.

So we found a crowd control guy who was working the festival and inquired after our bus. He rang through to someone who had a clue and alas… the bus was never going to arrive at that stop because the city had been shut down to buses for the event. Great. The next bus was at 6.33pm and had to be caught from a stop further out from the city walls. Don’t you just want to scream at this point?! In fact, we would have done so if our senses of humour weren’t just a little bit ironical. All we could do was laugh.

So after a further three hours of time killing, we were picked up by a compassionate bus driver, whom we had flagged down to ask whether we would ever in fact depart from this town. He said, his bus wasn’t going to Siena but that he would take us to the petrol station where he knew the Siena bus driver was coming to refuel.

While standing around waiting, we did have a few doubts. After all, we were totally dependent on the promise of this driver. We held our tickets with anticipation and discussed our fondly cherished dream of validating them.

And then finally… salvation!

All we did the whole weekend was wait on a flipping bus, but somehow it was one of the most hilarious weekends of my life!

Reverse Culture Shock

It’s a phenomenon of travel that people either care or don’t care about where you’ve come from depending on whether you are a foreigner or a local. When overseas, everyone wants to know where you’re from; what you’re home town is like; what you did while you were there; wether you liked the lifestyle; what you enjoyed about it and what you didn’t; so many questions! It’s great for helping you to reflect on on your origins. But when you go back home…

Many people find REVERSE culture shock harder to deal with than the original shock of being in a new and strange place. I think that this is, in part, to do with the fact that people at home are not usually so curious about you. Besides, no one wants to sit through a slideshow of your two-thousand photos while you reminisce. It’s only people who have been to the same places as you, and equally lack the opportunity to talk about them, that will usually engage you in lengthy conversation so you can compare notes.

You have to get back into the everyday swing of things at home; to fit in with everyone else. Sure, people ask you questions depending on either their level of care for you, their curiosity, or at a minimum, the sense of social obligation; but somehow the deeper questions never get asked and a sense of bewilderment often results from the lack of facilitated reflection.

When other friends I know have returned from long stints overseas, I’ve always noticed a sense of loss and isolation on re-entry to their home country. This doesn’t seem to make sense on the surface, because they have gone from being ‘alone’ in strange land to being back with everyone they know and love. However, they have come back changed and they need to be reacquainted with all the old familiar people and places in light of who they are now.

Imagine you return to a situation you know inside out but YOU have changed. It’s just as unsettling as if the situation was completely foreign because you no longer know how to fit in. Culture shock is like a square peg leaving its square hole and trying to fit into a round one… the difference in shape causes incongruence and isolation.

But say, over time, the square peg’s edges get softened a bit and although it is still square, the edges get rounded enough to fit into the round hole, albeit imperfectly. When that round-edged-square comes back home to its square hole, it will find that it does not fit there like it used to. It will experience the reverse of what happened in the first place. I think this is why travellers I’ve known have told me they could not bear to go back to their old jobs, or the place they used to live once they had returned. The new incongruence is just too unsettling.

I was thinking about all this while I was in Rome, recently returned from a short visit to home. I was trying to make sense of the strange sensations I experienced while at home and realised that a sense of frustration came from not being able to talk about the things that were really on my mind. A rush of a thousand thoughts that had followed me home from my life overseas.

I must admit that in the past, I too have cared little for returning travellers’ stories. Now I see the importance of giving someone a platform, not to boast about their adventures, but to process just what has happened as a result of the said adventure. I mean, pilgrims travelled FOR the purpose of being changed. Changing your environment, your lifestyle, your everyday objectives and your preconceived ideas is bound to leave an indelible impression on your identity.