Reverse Culture Shock

It’s a phenomenon of travel that people either care or don’t care about where you’ve come from depending on whether you are a foreigner or a local. When overseas, everyone wants to know where you’re from; what you’re home town is like; what you did while you were there; wether you liked the lifestyle; what you enjoyed about it and what you didn’t; so many questions! It’s great for helping you to reflect on on your origins. But when you go back home…

Many people find REVERSE culture shock harder to deal with than the original shock of being in a new and strange place. I think that this is, in part, to do with the fact that people at home are not usually so curious about you. Besides, no one wants to sit through a slideshow of your two-thousand photos while you reminisce. It’s only people who have been to the same places as you, and equally lack the opportunity to talk about them, that will usually engage you in lengthy conversation so you can compare notes.

You have to get back into the everyday swing of things at home; to fit in with everyone else. Sure, people ask you questions depending on either their level of care for you, their curiosity, or at a minimum, the sense of social obligation; but somehow the deeper questions never get asked and a sense of bewilderment often results from the lack of facilitated reflection.

When other friends I know have returned from long stints overseas, I’ve always noticed a sense of loss and isolation on re-entry to their home country. This doesn’t seem to make sense on the surface, because they have gone from being ‘alone’ in strange land to being back with everyone they know and love. However, they have come back changed and they need to be reacquainted with all the old familiar people and places in light of who they are now.

Imagine you return to a situation you know inside out but YOU have changed. It’s just as unsettling as if the situation was completely foreign because you no longer know how to fit in. Culture shock is like a square peg leaving its square hole and trying to fit into a round one… the difference in shape causes incongruence and isolation.

But say, over time, the square peg’s edges get softened a bit and although it is still square, the edges get rounded enough to fit into the round hole, albeit imperfectly. When that round-edged-square comes back home to its square hole, it will find that it does not fit there like it used to. It will experience the reverse of what happened in the first place. I think this is why travellers I’ve known have told me they could not bear to go back to their old jobs, or the place they used to live once they had returned. The new incongruence is just too unsettling.

I was thinking about all this while I was in Rome, recently returned from a short visit to home. I was trying to make sense of the strange sensations I experienced while at home and realised that a sense of frustration came from not being able to talk about the things that were really on my mind. A rush of a thousand thoughts that had followed me home from my life overseas.

I must admit that in the past, I too have cared little for returning travellers’ stories. Now I see the importance of giving someone a platform, not to boast about their adventures, but to process just what has happened as a result of the said adventure. I mean, pilgrims travelled FOR the purpose of being changed. Changing your environment, your lifestyle, your everyday objectives and your preconceived ideas is bound to leave an indelible impression on your identity.