The Goodbye Train

I validated my ticket.

I stepped out onto the platform.

I boarded the Goodbye Train.

Now I am riding along in this thing, making all the stops; picking up and dropping off friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances. For months I knew this train trip was coming, but it's only now that I have only a few more stops to make that I am really feelings it's purpose: saying GOODBYE.

Farewelling the people you love and spend all your time with is a strange and perplexing process. I'm not sure what my everday-life will be like without them. And I never expected to feel bad for the fact that some of them will actually miss me!

I am uncertain about how I will feel when I land in a foreign country where I have no family, no friends, no car, no income, and no belongings but the ones in my suitcase.

Basically, I'm uncertain about how I feel right now, and I'm uncertain about how I will feel then. It reminds me of a monologue from one of my favourite films, The Shawshank Redemption. I wonder if there is a way that I can turn this uneasiness into something a little closer to what Red felt:

"I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel; a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain."